spiteful exes

 

We have all been there, right? With that vindictive person trying to make your life harder? 

Navigating Spiteful Exes: Rising Above Toxicity and Finding Healing

Breaking up is rarely an easy process, and emotions can run high in the aftermath of a relationship's demise. Unfortunately, some individuals allow their bitterness and anger to manifest in destructive ways, turning into spiteful ex-partners. Dealing with a spiteful ex can be challenging, but it's crucial to prioritize your well-being and strive for healing. In this blog post, we'll explore some common traits of spiteful exes, discuss strategies for coping with their behavior, and highlight the importance of personal growth and moving forward.

Recognizing Spiteful Exes:

Vindictive Actions: Spiteful exes often engage in vindictive actions to hurt their former partners, such as spreading rumors, starting conflicts with mutual acquaintances, or damaging personal property. It's important to remember that their actions are a reflection of their own unresolved emotions and should not define your self-worth.

Manipulation and Gaslighting: Spiteful exes may resort to manipulative tactics and gaslighting to gain control or undermine your confidence. They might twist facts, distort reality, or attempt to make you question your own perceptions. Recognizing these tactics can help you maintain clarity and protect your emotional well-being.

Coping Strategies:

Establish Boundaries: Setting clear boundaries is crucial when dealing with a spiteful ex. Communicate your limits firmly and assertively, whether it's through written communication or with the help of a mediator. This will help protect your mental and emotional space, allowing you to move forward more effectively.

Seek Support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or even professional counselors. Talking about your experiences and emotions with trusted individuals can provide validation and a fresh perspective, enabling you to heal and grow.

Practice Self-Care: Engage in self-care activities that promote your well-being. Exercise regularly, engage in hobbies you enjoy, and prioritize self-reflection and self-compassion. By taking care of yourself, you can build resilience and maintain a positive mindset in the face of adversity.

Finding Healing and Moving Forward:

Focus on Personal Growth: Use the challenges presented by a spiteful ex as an opportunity for personal growth. Explore your own emotions, learn from the experience, and identify areas for self-improvement. This mindset shift can help you turn a negative situation into a catalyst for positive change.

Let Go of Resentment: Holding onto resentment only prolongs your pain and hinders your healing process. Instead, work towards forgiveness, not for your ex's sake, but for your own liberation. Forgiveness allows you to release the emotional burden, making space for new beginnings.

Embrace the Future: Finally, remember that your past does not define your future. Surround yourself with positivity, set new goals, and focus on creating a fulfilling life beyond the influence of your spiteful ex. Open yourself up to new relationships and opportunities, knowing that you deserve happiness and peace.

Dealing with a spiteful ex can be emotionally draining, but it's important to prioritize your well-being and rise above their toxic behavior. Recognize the signs of a spiteful ex, establish clear boundaries, seek support, and focus on personal growth and healing. Remember that your worth is not determined by their actions, and the power to move forward lies within you. By embracing self-care, forgiveness, and a positive mindset, you can overcome the challenges and emerge stronger and more resilient than ever before.

Well, what is breakup etiquette anyway?

When it comes to splitting up your belongings, you're going to need to decide what is "yours", what is "theirs" and what is "ours". Items that are "yours" are those that you had prior to this relationship or that are used exclusively by you (like your shoes) - "theirs" items would have the same criteria for them. You can absolutely ask and expect to get "your" items back as long as you are prepared to return "theirs". Items that are "ours" are much trickier - jointly purchased/used items can cause a lot of drama - so it's best to not let your emotions override your practicality. Those items should go to the person who is going to use it the most or best and has the capacity to do so. It would be a shame to take the BBQ out of spite if it's only going to sit in storage.

As for gifts, Judge Judy always rules that gifts do not need to be returned and that stands here with one exception: family heirlooms that were given contingent on the relationship lasting (like your grandmother's wedding ring) should be given back. A lot of people like to force-return a gift to make a statement. As much fun as it is to throw an expensive necklace back at your ex, maybe gift it to a friend or family member who would enjoy it - turning a negative into a positive is always the best option.

As for the timing and the logistics of the returns, making this exchange within the first 1-2 months would be ideal, so you've had some time to confirm the relationship is indeed over and (hopefully) emotions have cooled. When you get into the 3-6 months territory, it becomes a little harder to re-enter someone's life and makes you wonder if you really need those items that badly. If you deem it necessary, the exchange meetup can be a good opportunity for a closure chat, meeting at a neutral location like a coffee shop keeps it relatively friendly. Should you prefer to never see this person's face again, it's best to schedule a pickup/drop off time where your box is already waiting for you on the porch.

Should I block/unfollow/unfriend them on social media? Can I still interact with them on it?

Social media is like an entire second life with it's own set of rules. For some reason, blocking someone on social media is regarded as a near-blasphemous act, so, if you'd like to reduce what you see of your ex online, it's best to choose another option (like unfollowing, muting or limiting what posts of yours they can see), unless they're that rare breed of ex that is completely block-worthy.

If you choose to keep them around online, it's best to limit your interactions (liking, commenting, etc.), especially in the first few months, to give yourselves some space. If you are going to like a post, it's best to make it a universally congratulatory one (like a graduation or a new job), where there is genuine pride involved.

Continue

theres hope, theres a way

 

Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on.

"Every time I write about men behaving inappropriately with women, there’s a contingent that reminds me that women sometimes behave badly in relationships, too. Of course there are women who aren’t particularly interested in being the best relationship partners possible, but that’s a flimsy excuse for men who insist their dysfunctional behavior is a quid pro quo. It’s a circular argument with no winner.

Taking the high road is most effective. Men who treat women with respect and dignity will find few who will mistreat them in return. Men need to stop excusing their behavior and cynicism about women because a woman once mistreated them. If men behave in a manner that will inspire women to appreciate them and treat them with the respect they deserve, they will be rewarded most of the time.

If you’re in a relationship with a woman who treats you badly, walk away. If a woman unfairly dumped you, let the pain in, allow yourself to feel the sting, and then move on. Men suffer greatly after failed relationships when they refuse to feel their pain and work it. There’s nothing new about men sucking it up instead of putting their painful experience to rest."

- Ken Solin from The Good Men Project

Why can't people just let things go? All they have to do is the right thing. Thats where the problem is, right? We have too many people, old and young, feeling entitled. The only real reason I can come to is that everyone else just lets them. We need to take a stand and hold these individuals accountable for their bullshit. Not everything in life is easy, or even immediate. I believe that we all 'know' what the right thing is... instead of just making other's lives harder (they're hard enough as it is, right?) We should all do our part in being mature and being able to rise above ourselves. Then, just maybe, the world wouldn't be so damn bad.

And you guys wonder why I am so cynical and jaded?

Continue

etiquette

 

How can you get started? Sure, you could just hope for the best…but I’m going to make things easy for you. Here’s what you need to know to ace your first date with an escort.

First, make sure you’re committed

The sex industry is rife with ‘time wasters and tyre-kickers’ - would-be clients who never follow through after contacting an escort. If you want your first attempt at booking to be successful, you’ll need to stand out as a serious customer.

Many times, I’ve replied to someone’s email or text message, answered their questions, and checked my diary to make sure I’m free on the dates they’ve mentioned. But, after sending my reply...crickets. This wasted effort is very discouraging, and makes me reluctant to engage with them if they contact me again in the future.

This is why it’s so important to be committed before you reach out to a pro. Decide who you’re interested in and when you’d like to see them. Make sure you have the funds; asking for discounts never impresses! Most importantly, don’t send that first message until you’re certain of your choice of worker, and one-hundred-percent sure that you’ll turn up on the day.

Otherwise, you risk missing out. Clients who enquire about a session and don’t follow through sometimes don’t get a second chance.

Send an excellent booking request

Communication, communication, communication. It’s the cornerstone of all relationships - even professional ones…so make sure you send a well-crafted booking request.

When you first reach out to your preferred worker it’s essential you take the time to write a clear email or text message. If you’re disorganized or hard to understand, we may assume you’re a timewaster, and never reply to you. Or we may spend a long time going back and forth trying to get the details we need; this consumes energy that is better saved for the session itself.

Here’s how to avoid this: be polite and professional. Include your name, the day and time you’d like to meet, your mobile phone number and whether you’re hoping for an incall or outcall. Don’t be explicit or specifically mention sex, if you’re in a place where hands-on sex work is criminalised. By giving the worker all the information they need, you’ll make a great impression and become someone they look forward to meeting in person.

Follow your worker's screening procedures

Once an escort has accepted your booking request, the job is only half done. Next, you’ll need to go through a screening process.

Why screen? Well, our safety is our number one priority - and that means we need to confirm your identity and take any steps we feel are necessary to make sure you’re safe and reliable. If you’re giving off bad vibes or refusing to follow our booking instructions, we will refuse to see you.

Every escort has different requirements, but some common requests include your mobile number, your work phone number, an image of your driver's license or passport, a referral from a worker you’re seen in the past and a deposit (prepayment of part of your booking fee). To secure your booking, you’ll need to comply promptly.

There’s no room for negotiation here. If there’s something you can’t provide or don’t feel comfortable disclosing, you’ll need to see a different worker who doesn’t request those items. Remember, we want to safeguard your privacy too, as repeat customers are our livelihood. We will keep your personal information confidential, so long as you treat us respectfully.

Attend to your personal hygiene and appearance

Now it’s time to meet your escort in person! After all this preparation and build-up, make sure you’re dressed for success.

It might sound kind of obvious, but good sex is all about getting close to someone, and your escort isn’t going to want to get close to you if you smell or taste bad. Turning up in clothes that smell of cigarette smoke or having an end-of-the-day body odor problem will usually result in a poor service from your worker.

So make sure you’ve washed with soap thoroughly before your session - paying particular attention to your armpits, butt crack, and under your foreskin (if you have one). Use deodorant, give yourself a fresh shave or a beard manicure, and trim your fingernails. It’s also worthwhile putting together a ‘first date’ outfit - imagine you’re going on a regular date with someone you want to impress, and dress accordingly. Making an effort with your hygiene and appearance shows that you respect your worker.

Arrive on time

Our next etiquette tip is all about timing: I recommend that you arrive exactly at the  agreed time. Not early, and not late.

If you run late for your session, your escort may become anxious that you’re not going to show up, and that means you’ll start your date off on the wrong foot. You’ll also lose precious minutes from your booking - if your worker has other customers afterwards, they may not be able to give you extra time to make up for your lateness.

Arriving early is a problem too. Your escort may be getting ready, or might still be with another client! And loitering in the street or the hotel lobby isn’t discreet. So figure out exactly how long it’s going to take to get where you need to be, then leave a little earlier…but wait in your car, around the block or in a nearby cafe, so you can arrive exactly on time.

Pay immediately, and do it the right way

‘Payment up front’ is the golden rule of sex work. But what does this mean, when it comes to your first encounter with an escort?

It’s true that nothing sexy can happen until your escort has collected the fee and checked it to make sure it’s correct. So this is the very first thing you need to take care of on arrival (or perhaps the second, right after saying ‘hi’). If you don’t do this right away, you’ll start to make your escort anxious, as they try to figure out how to get you to pay without being impolite.

How you take care of this will depend on your location. In places where sex work is allowed - such as my hometown of Melbourne, Australia - that means handing over the money to your escort right away, preferably in an envelope. In places where sex work is criminalised, you may have to use the discreet approach - placing the payment somewhere obvious, such as a table, and excusing yourself to the bathroom so your escort can collect and count it.

Once the payment stuff is taken care of, you’ll both be able to relax and get down to enjoying your time together.

Let your escort set the pace

A lot of clients assume that a good sex work session is about packing as much ‘action’ in as possible - but a wise client knows to go with the flow.

It might be tempting to try and get sexy right away, or avoid cumming for as long as possible…or you might have a laundry list of positions you’d like to try. But sex doesn’t work like that. We all need to warm up, figure out what we want to do together, and pace ourselves so we don’t end up exhausted. Your escort knows this, and will guide you from one activity to the next.

Once you arrive and have paid your fee, take a deep breath and relax. Ask us how we’re doing, or how our week is going so far. If you have time, share a cup of tea or a glass of wine and take the time to connect. And let your escort initiate the sexy stuff! This especially applies if you’re in a place such as the USA where sex work is criminalized - your escort will need things to happen at a pace where they feel safe. Once you’re getting intimate, don’t rush it - take the time to figure out what feels right and check in with your worker to make sure they’re enjoying themselves too.

This doesn’t mean you can’t ask for what you want…but stay focused on what feels good in the moment. If you’re continually referring back to a mental ‘bucket list’ or feeling anxious about whether you’re getting your money’s worth, you won’t be able to enjoy yourself.

Always respect a 'no'

If your escort says no to anything, you must respect their wishes.

‘The customer is always right’ doesn’t apply here - consensual sex is about two people figuring out what they want to do together. And just like you, your escort will have things they do and don’t enjoy in the bedroom. If you don’t respect their wishes, your booking will end badly. In the best-case scenario, you’ll be asked to leave. In the worst case, you could be charged with sexual assault.

If your worker says ‘stop’, you must stop. If you hear a ‘no’, say ‘thanks for letting me know’ and suggest another activity. Also respect a ‘slow down’ or a ‘be gentle’. It’s not just about stopping when requested, it’s about making sure your escort feels comfortable.

Of course, you have the same rights too. You can take a break or stop if something doesn’t feel right, and ask your escort to avoid any activities you don’t enjoy. Don’t be afraid to let us know - it’s our job to make sure you feel safe, just as it’s your job to respect our boundaries.

When your time's up, your time's up

Continuing on from tip number five, here’s something to think about as your session draws to a close: it’s important to be prepared to leave exactly on time.

As sex professionals, our time is valuable. We might have other bookings after yours and can’t afford to run late. Like I mentioned earlier, some clients are determined to wring the absolute most ‘action’ from their sessions, and will insist on sex right up until the final bell. But this is very disrespectful of your escort and their time. It can take 10-15 minutes to wind down and get ready to leave, and you need to allow for that during your booking time…or you might not be invited back.

When your escort tells you your time is nearly up, it means you’ll need to stop the sexy stuff, perhaps take a shower, and gather your things in preparation to leave. Don’t spend ages in the shower or linger at the door chatting! Overstaying your welcome could make your worker much less enthusiastic about seeing you again.

Knowing the etiquette will make you a great first-time client.

Now that you know the etiquette essentials, you’ll be able to sail through your first escort booking with style and class, making the whole experience fun and relaxing for both yourself and your worker. By ticking all these boxes, you can prove you’re a great client and get down to the real business: having an amazing time together.

1.) tyre-kicker - A person who pretends to be interested in purchasing an item (especially a car), but who has no intention of buying it.

Continue

Definitely gotta address this

 Guys suck.

Okay so clearly, and I'm sure you've seen it and you know what? My life does not revolve as round appeasing everyone and everything.

The whole thing about me ghosting. This is the response I'm getting from the audience.  Yeah I'm putting this on the front..

Okay I have other things going on . And I'm trying to be a programmer and that takes up a lot of my time. So there is that.

And I am by no means trying to excuse my absent behavior because I know I could do this better - the only thing I ask that you keep in mind is how much of the bullshit I have to filter through, the fakes, or time wasters. I get just as many trying to fck with me .

It's funny really that these guys making those posts, well who the hell are they to judge me when it's so obvious they're just upset that they didn't make the cut!! I can certainly afford to be selective. And rude arrogant mf don't fit into that.

Thank you to those willing to see through this and look past the petty little dudes who think they "own" women like me.

Continue

READ THIS

 

Okay so.. I've read a few reviews and comments about me on USASEXGUIDE (horrible site, in my opinion) and as i'm going to say Your Mileage May Vary could not be anymore true! 

And shame on you guys for wanting full bareback!! Think about that, just for a damn min, you want to have unprotected sex with a HOOKER. smart, right? 🤣

The other thing... just put yourself in my position please. would u want some stranger cumming that salty thick goo in your mouth? okay so these are the conditions that i base my entire experience with & how far I am willing to go.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

1.) whether or not you're hygienic

2.) if you're shaved and/or pre-cumming (i REALLY do not like hair and precum) oh and i know i can give a great bj but not like that.

3.) if you're being too rough! like i cannot say that enough, my pussy is sensitive... think about how sensitive your dick is after you cum. thats me all the time.

okay, so trust me... i do like to have a great experience too. but these simple things have to be done for me to be comfortable and to perform at my best!

thanks!

Continue

harsh reality

 What It's Like When EVERY GUY I Meet Just Wants to Fuck

 I'm talking about the guys who are supposed to be my friend, the guys who I thought I could trust - they're the ones I cannot wrap my head around. Yes i can separate the friends side of this from the work side, which I am aware that not everyone can do, but that's the kind of mentality it takes.

 

 This may be hard to grasp for some, or just plain sad, but it really gets to a point where I am sick of it. Sure, I like to fck as much as the next guy, but damn... i have two points to make here.

 imagine this: if you're a car mechanic for a living, would u want to come home and work on your buddy's car? NO, probably not! just try to fckn be considerate and respectful because it will get u farther with me, and most likely other women u meet!

  and my second point: okay what if every single female u met only wanted u for all your money? 🤑💰 and simply, nothing more. didn't give a fuck about what u said... or how u felt. just wanted to hang out or whatever if she was benefitting financially? how would that feel?

like i've been in a couple of situations where i was crying and they did not care at all, they were just like, "okay so...we can still fck right?" like goddamn. have some self control dude. seriously!!

one of the hazards in this type of job, right? 🙄

Continue

my Wit's End

 

Lately…

March 2022

“Your past does not equal your future.” – Tony Robbins

How have I been lately? I have been trying to settle in still.. In the middle of a career shift. I did finish school :) so i am on my way to being a full stack web developer. And thats something I literally obsess over every minute of every day. ✨ but hey that just means i love it right?

So i cant help but kind of feel like i could give some background…some context maybe to my life? So i wasnt raped or abused when i was younger (sry if u thought that!) i have always been a free spirit with an open mind. Because i know what it feels like to be rejected and judged. I was a chubby kid in high school.. So i got made fun of. Wore the ‘gothic’ type clothing, a lot of hoodies and was very insecure - i know right? I got married at 16 yrs old to someone who was my outlet. my mom and i just didnt get along very well. we had very opposing views.

So, I've been married twice. I feel like almost everyone i have ever put any trust in has betrayed me, so it takes me a long time to trust someone new. There are two people who haven't screwed me over. and I talk to them frequently.

So, at age 19 I began using pain pills, within a year I was injecting them. At my very worst moments, I was injecting Opana. (What is opana? Oxymorphone is used to help relieve moderate to severe pain. It belongs to a class of drugs known as opioid analgesics. It works in the brain to change how your body feels and responds to pain.) Then, when I moved away from my small home town in Tennessee, I quit using pain pills and have been off of them since 2017.

Continue

why does this keep happening?

😡   One thing I'll never understand...

is how messed up some people are! Like why the hell does it keep happening to me? It seems like I just keep getting fcked over. and trust me, I am careful! but none-the-less... I really wish I knew what I was doing wrong. 

Okay, for instance, this past week I was stuck in Dothan Alabama for 4 days without a ride, without anything! Yeah, I shouldn't have put myself in that position...I agree with that but is it really so wrong that I wanted to believe that wouldn't happen to me?? I actually WANTED to trust this mf. Ugh. All of this just makes me lose faith in people, lose faith in my own judgment...and the list goes on and on. It sucks.

Continue

I'm looking for..

I can be all that you could ever imagine and more... we will just have to talk and see! It varies & depends on that chemistry, that mental stimulation, maybe some career guidance; I am finishing a coding bootcamp now(should finish by June) - that is what i'm after. I seek a mutually beneficial type of arrangement. I can also be very accommodating, and I do have my own car... paired with a flexible schedule and 2 energetic four-legged companions.

  I need stability, consistencies & security. I am looking for someone who is patient & age certainly isn't a problem - i actually prefer an older gent. They don't play games and know exactly what they're looking for.

Let's talk; don't be shy.

Continue

sexxxy as fck video!!

Continue

General rules

  Lately I feel the need to go over some of these ground rules and I really hope you guys read them and can definitely keep these things in mind!! And if you cannot follow these, I suggest you go find another provider! I will start blacklisting phone numbers without warning . Thank you. Xo

• Please do not text me over and over in short amounts of time! This has to stop because this kind of stressor is what makes me put down the phone for the day.
• Be patient with my responses 
• Don't come to my house and sit outside waiting on me without my confirmation!!
• When you do arrive at my place, please do not wander around the parking lot. This kind of thing gets me in trouble.

Continue

I'm loving North Carolina.

Continue

your questions

Hey sweetie & now for that post about some basics. Here are my rules, rates, preferences, ect.

This stuff is super important to me and is not up for negotiation - please respect that!

 New rates (competitive. Find me a classier lady that is cheaper!)

Incall

200hh

300hr

500 for 90 min

Outcall

250hh

350hr

550 for 90 min

Additional times are definitely available - just let me know.

Rules are

No bare. Period

Don't finish in ny mouth

No greek.

Continue